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Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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While I was munching, I saw this commotion by the bus stop. Turns out, some dude was arguing with a woman over a bus fare. Like, really? You gonna fight over a couple dollars? I couldn’t help but laugh. I mean, it’s Portmore, not a reality show! But then, the woman started shouting, and I was like, “Whoa, chill!”

Holness reaffirms commitment to Portmore’s parish status amid major infrastructure upgrades | News